Someone Is Pretending to Be Me Online. Here's Why It Doesn't Bother Me
Recently, I received an inquiry from someone who told me that a person was using my photos to scam people online.
I think he expected me to be upset and eager to track down the impersonator and restore justice. I'm not, and here's why.
There are millions of scammers on the internet. My photos are publicly available. Anyone can download them from my website or social media and use them for the wrong reasons. That's exactly what's happening now, and it will probably happen again in the future.
Only a small fraction of reported scams ever result in someone being charged. Scammers have good reason to believe they can get away with what they're doing.
If law enforcement agencies with all their resources struggle to investigate online scams, I certainly don't expect to have much success as a one-person business. And unlike law enforcement, I'm not being paid to investigate scammers.
I can report accounts, put warnings everywhere, and spend my time chasing impersonators, and another one can appear tomorrow. I'd rather put that energy into my actual work.
How to Know If You're Actually Talking to Me
What does concern me isn't that someone is pretending to be me. It's that someone might lose money because they believe the person pretending to be me.
Fortunately, my process for screening new clients and scheduling sessions is pretty straightforward.
I Don't Approach Potential Clients
I never approach potential clients myself. I have profiles on Tryst, DickieVirgin, and Hogspy. I also have my own website and social media accounts, all of which are listed on my website. People find me and approach me, not the other way around.
I only respond to session inquiries submitted through my website or sent to my email address, cockatrice.domme@gmail.com, which is listed on both my website and my Tryst profile.
If someone claiming to be me contacts you out of nowhere and offers you a session, you're not talking to me.
I Don't Accept Deposits Before Screening
Before scheduling a session with a new client, I require either an in-person coffee meeting or a Zoom video call.
Only after we've met, discussed the session, and I've decided that we're a good fit will I accept a deposit to secure the booking.
I will never contact you unexpectedly and ask you to send me money to book a session.
I Don't Arrange Sessions Through Social Media
I love interacting with people on social media. But if someone wants to discuss a potential session, I direct them to my website or ask them to email me using the address listed there.
I don't arrange sessions through social media DMs.
So the process is very simple: you approach me through one of my established channels, I respond to your inquiry, we go through my screening process, and only then do we schedule a session.
There isn't a secret alternative booking process.
I can't speak for every professional Dominatrix, but most Dommes I know operate in a similar way. Their official website is usually the best place to start.
What If You Find Someone Pretending to Be Me?
You're welcome to send me the profile or a screenshot, but please don't engage with the person on my behalf.
Don't send them money or personal information, and don't try to confront them. Report the account to the platform and move on. If you're unsure whether an account really belongs to me, don't ask the suspicious account itself.
Instead, find my website independently and contact me using the information published there.
Don't Verify Someone Through the Same Channel They Contacted You On
If someone messages you on Telegram claiming to be a particular Dominatrix, don't ask that person to send you a link to "her" website. A scammer can obviously send you whatever link they want you to see.
Instead, find the Dominatrix's established website yourself and use the contact information published there.
I know this sounds obvious. But scams often work precisely because they catch people at the right moment:when they're excited, distracted, embarrassed, horny, or simply not paying close attention. And it's remarkably easy to make something look legitimate online.
Signs You’re Talking to a Scammer
Be suspicious if someone claiming to be a professional Dominatrix:
contacts you first offering a session;
wants to arrange the entire session through social media DMs;
asks for money before going through her normal screening process;
pressures you to pay immediately;
uses contact information that doesn't appear on her established website; or
suddenly claims that her normal booking procedure has changed.
Of course, different Dommes have different screening and booking procedures. The important thing isn't whether their process looks exactly like mine. It's whether the person you're speaking with is following the process that particular Domme has publicly established.
Start With the Source
You don't need to investigate every account using a Dominatrix's photos. You don't need to compare pictures, analyze writing styles, or ask someone to prove who they are.
Start with her established website. Look at the contact information published there and read how she says sessions are booked. If someone claiming to be her is asking you to do something completely different, stop.
Someone can steal my photographs. They can copy my bio. They can create social media profiles that look convincing. They could even create a website that looks similar to mine under a different web address. But they can't make me change the way I actually conduct my business. That's why I'm not particularly worried about impersonators.
I'd rather spend my time doing my work, and make it very clear how to find the real me.
Mistress Jane is a professional dominatrix based in Boston who specializes in psychological domination, role-play, and power exchange. If you're curious about exploring kink in a safe and supportive environment, you can learn more about sessions here.
